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Five Excerpts From The Snappy Cola Clock
(Actually My Second- or Third-Favorite Lines From Five Random Stories)


The Snappy Cola Clock

  “But there were other days when Snappy’s smile was full of poignant innocence, as if Snappy had bravely accepted the fact that someday his motor would fail, as if he were hiding his feelings because it was his responsibility to cheer people up and make them want to order a Snappy Cola.”

The Cemetery Flute

  “Hobson didn’t really know what a druidic fertility rite was but it sounded like it had the potential to be the high point of his law-enforcement career.”

Everybody Gets a Wave

  “Nobody needs to know there’s a big fat one-legged man out here by himself on Tuesday afternoons. They might say well, hell, I’m going to go rob and kill that big fat one-legged man out there.”

  “Rob me of what? We ain’t got nothing.”

The Old Rutledge Place

  “So what do you know about the old Rutledge place?”

  “Not too much. Other than I broke in last night and found a body.”

Bearskin Trombone Tapestries:

  “He was vaguely aware that people in the corporate world were always writing reports that had to be on someone’s desk by Friday, that the numbers were always going up or down, and that someone’s ass was always on the line. Bob, your numbers are way down and your ass is on the line. He jotted that down on the second page of his W&R legal pad and thought it might go into a novel someday: Miss Johnson, if that’s my ass on the line, take a message.”

Other titles in this collection:

Driving the Drive, Long Distance Relationship (There’s No Delusion Like Self-Delusion), Bingo at the Fry, The Jack Kerouac Memorial Stretch of Illinois 440, Colby City Gothic, Chaanga the Destroyer, A Ghost Wouldn’t Say That, The Pastor’s Visions, They Say the Explosion Was Sex-Related, The Old Whistle Sign, Thanks for Finding Our Dog, and Burt’s Voice

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